sankta: (TWENTY-EIGHT)
alina ([personal profile] sankta) wrote2013-07-29 04:17 pm

IC Contact

first.last@compass.net (3) (no subject) D12 63:19PM
first.last@compass.net (6) Re: Mission D11 8:01PM
first.last@compass.net (12) [text] D10 9:35AM


E-MAILS TEXTS
sturmhond: (t h o u g h t f u l)

[personal profile] sturmhond 2013-12-15 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He knows that.

He's kept so many secrets here, and for the right reasons. He doesn't regret that.

But he knows that he can trust her. He should have trusted her, with his identity at the very least. He can fix that now.
]

Can I come and see you?
sturmhond: (f r o w n i n g)

[personal profile] sturmhond 2013-12-15 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He doesn't say anything more. He just goes there, straight away, and he knocks on her door.

For once he's quiet, pensive. He's left his pocketwatch in the workshop, but of course his earpiece is still attached. There's nothing he can ever do about that.
]
sturmhond: (w i n d s w e p t)

[personal profile] sturmhond 2013-12-15 11:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He comes in, and pushes the door shut behind him. Then he leans against it, looking at her with an expression that's thoughtful, almost tense. ]

Alina.

You've asked me many times who I am. I've always told you that you'll know, some day.

I want to tell you now. It's not how I imagined this going, but I didn't know there were people who could...unwrite my secrets, if they wanted to.

If you still want to know, then ask me again. I won't lie to you anymore.
sturmhond: (c o n t r o l)

[personal profile] sturmhond 2013-12-16 01:10 am (UTC)(link)
[ That was it exactly. He wanted her to know at a time that he chose, and not at a time when he was forced to explain things because he had no other choice.

He'd gone through that already, at home. He'd had to reveal himself to her because the First Army had come upon them. She'd been furious with him. Some part of him hopes that it will be better this way.

Another part of him feels lighter, just because the secret won't be between them anymore. That part surprises him. He hadn't expected to feel that way.

He sighs.
]

I am Nikolai Lantsov. [ And then he spreads his hands, and recites the rest by rote. ] Major of the Twenty-Second Regiment, Soldier of the King's Army, Grand Duke of Udova, and second son to his Majesty, King Alexander the Third, Ruler of the Double Eagle Throne, may his life and reign be long.

[ And then, because he had been here before, he braces himself for the punch. ]
sturmhond: (t h i s  i s  b a d)

[personal profile] sturmhond 2013-12-16 01:26 am (UTC)(link)
[ That question makes him laugh. Why hadn't he? There are two answers to that.

He'd promised her the truth. He's never been very good at telling the truth, not plainly like this. In the end, he gives her the truth that's easiest to say.
]

Because I knew that I couldn't be Nikolai Lantsov, here. These people don't need a prince.

These people need Sturmhond, scourge of the true sea, breaker of blockades. They need a fighter and a gunsmith, they need someone who can lead and not be distracted by thoughts of a country left behind. And besides that, I don't know any of them. I've always known that a prince has a greater value as a hostage, when he's away from home. At first I thought that any one of these people could be working from the Darkling. Now that I know better, I know that the man himself could appear at any time, and if he does it's vital that he does not know Nikolai Lantsov is here.

[ He looks at her now, bright hazel eyes turning on her. He doesn't say the rest, the part that's harder. The part where she had been his friend and confidante at home, and yet she doesn't know him here. It had been easier to play at Sturmhond, and gain her trust again, than have her see him as a prince set at a distance. But that's too personal. Too difficult, and it's all still true, so he keeps it to himself. ]

Don't think for a minute that I didn't want to. I've missed being honest with you, as strange as that sounds.
sturmhond: (y o u  f o o l)

[personal profile] sturmhond 2013-12-16 01:39 am (UTC)(link)
[ He'd known that question was coming. His eyes don't leave hers, now. ]

Because the Darkling poisoned my father and tried to take the throne of Ravka from right under my parents' noses, and where do you think I was, Alina?

[ Rhetorical. He goes straight on. ]

At sea. Exactly where I've been ever since I finished my military service, because I thought that was where I could do the most good. And instead, I was in exactly the wrong place when my family needed me most.

I came to find you because I wanted you to come back with me, Alina. I wanted to bring you back to Os Alta, and I wanted us to unite the First and Second Armies against the Darkling. I wanted you to support my bid for the throne. That's why I took you from him, that's why I saved you from him. So that you could help me save our country from the dark.
sturmhond: (s q u i n t i n g)

[personal profile] sturmhond 2013-12-16 01:50 am (UTC)(link)
[ Saints, that question.

Inevitably, it's the one that gives him the most trouble. The one he finds it hardest to answer, perhaps because he's not really sure of the truth. As always, he has tried to act as he thinks he must. Different characteristics have been emphasized at different times. To some people he has been the soldier. To others, the thief. To others, the taker of risks, the gunsmith, the inventor, the list goes on.

Instead of answering properly, he smiles at her.
]

You told me that it was creepy, once. How easy it was for me to wear a different face, with different people.

It's not an either or, Alina. I am Nikolai Lantsov. I am also Sturmhond. Both are true, both are me. I've been how I always am with you. I don't know if that's enough. [ A pause. ] I've never truly known if that's enough.
sturmhond: (d e a d e y e)

[personal profile] sturmhond 2013-12-16 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
I am Sturmhond, Alina.

[ He has to make that clear. He wasn't pretending to be someone else entirely. He doesn't want her to think that. ]

That was never a lie. It's an identity I earned, at sea, when I couldn't present myself as Nikolai.

As far as anyone else here is concerned, Sturmhond is who I remain. That isn't going to change, with anyone except for you.
sturmhond: (c o n f i d e n c e)

[personal profile] sturmhond 2013-12-16 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
[ He rolls his eyes. For the first time, he looks irritated. ]

Nikolai. Please.

Perhaps I should add that to the list of reasons I wasn't telling you. At least when I'm Sturmhond you don't stand on ceremony.
sturmhond: (v u l n e r a b l e)

[personal profile] sturmhond 2013-12-16 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
You needn't ever call me that. I'm not a prince to you.

I'm your ally. I've told you that so many times.

I would like to be your friend again, Alina.
sturmhond: (c o m e  a g a i n)

[personal profile] sturmhond 2013-12-16 03:27 am (UTC)(link)
[ He looks at her, a little skeptical. ]

You know, the last time you found out who I was, you hit me. Quite hard, actually. It was most uncalled for.
sturmhond: (a s s e r t i v e)

[personal profile] sturmhond 2013-12-16 03:35 am (UTC)(link)
I'm glad you've learned to reign it in.

[ Just because you know who he is now won't make him less of an ass. ]

I had a different face, at home. That may have influenced things.
sturmhond: (e x p l a i n i n g)

[personal profile] sturmhond 2013-12-16 03:39 am (UTC)(link)
That was the point.

[ He shrugs, and then stops, frowning at her. ]

Except that I wasn't playing. I hadn't lived as a prince for seven years. It was a precaution, that's all.

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