[ Alina doesn't really know how to respond at first. She just stares at him for a long while.
Part of her doesn't believe him. But she remembers the day he arrived here from the train. He had been wearing an imperial uniform with the double eagle crest. He had told her he had been posing as a Lanstov. She had believed that, too. She had just bought it and believed he was Sturmhond.
But he wasn't Sturmhond. He was Sobachka. He was the second prince. The one she had never met.
She narrows her eyes, but she doesn't punch him. Not yet. ]
[ That question makes him laugh. Why hadn't he? There are two answers to that.
He'd promised her the truth. He's never been very good at telling the truth, not plainly like this. In the end, he gives her the truth that's easiest to say. ]
Because I knew that I couldn't be Nikolai Lantsov, here. These people don't need a prince.
These people need Sturmhond, scourge of the true sea, breaker of blockades. They need a fighter and a gunsmith, they need someone who can lead and not be distracted by thoughts of a country left behind. And besides that, I don't know any of them. I've always known that a prince has a greater value as a hostage, when he's away from home. At first I thought that any one of these people could be working from the Darkling. Now that I know better, I know that the man himself could appear at any time, and if he does it's vital that he does not know Nikolai Lantsov is here.
[ He looks at her now, bright hazel eyes turning on her. He doesn't say the rest, the part that's harder. The part where she had been his friend and confidante at home, and yet she doesn't know him here. It had been easier to play at Sturmhond, and gain her trust again, than have her see him as a prince set at a distance. But that's too personal. Too difficult, and it's all still true, so he keeps it to himself. ]
Don't think for a minute that I didn't want to. I've missed being honest with you, as strange as that sounds.
[ He told her to trust him while he had lied to her face. She didn't care about what the others needed. He had told her they were friends before. So why didn't he just tell her the truth?
Why was she friends with the Prince of Ravka? She remembered them talking about how they had met once. That he had helped the Darkling find her only to take her himself. ]
Why did you come find me in Novyi Zem? What was the real reason Sturmhond came used the Darkling to find me?
[ He'd known that question was coming. His eyes don't leave hers, now. ]
Because the Darkling poisoned my father and tried to take the throne of Ravka from right under my parents' noses, and where do you think I was, Alina?
[ Rhetorical. He goes straight on. ]
At sea. Exactly where I've been ever since I finished my military service, because I thought that was where I could do the most good. And instead, I was in exactly the wrong place when my family needed me most.
I came to find you because I wanted you to come back with me, Alina. I wanted to bring you back to Os Alta, and I wanted us to unite the First and Second Armies against the Darkling. I wanted you to support my bid for the throne. That's why I took you from him, that's why I saved you from him. So that you could help me save our country from the dark.
[ For a second, she wants to be mad at him. Because it's what she expected. He had taken her to use her just like everyone else did. But he talks about the King as his father. He makes it personal and it's hard not to feel for him on that level.
She also remembered him telling her they were friends. He may have used her, but something about their time together had brought them closer to each other.
She sighs and relaxes slightly. ]
one more question, then. Have you been acting like a different person this time? Or acting like yourself with just a different name?
Inevitably, it's the one that gives him the most trouble. The one he finds it hardest to answer, perhaps because he's not really sure of the truth. As always, he has tried to act as he thinks he must. Different characteristics have been emphasized at different times. To some people he has been the soldier. To others, the thief. To others, the taker of risks, the gunsmith, the inventor, the list goes on.
Instead of answering properly, he smiles at her. ]
You told me that it was creepy, once. How easy it was for me to wear a different face, with different people.
It's not an either or, Alina. I am Nikolai Lantsov. I am also Sturmhond. Both are true, both are me. I've been how I always am with you. I don't know if that's enough. [ A pause. ] I've never truly known if that's enough.
You have no trouble believing it, then, that you come back with me to Os Alta? Sometimes, here, you’ve said things that make me think it’s the very opposite of what you want at this point in time.
It is the opposite of what I want. [ She answers him. ] But is the opposite of what I'll do? I know I'll resist it as long and as much as I can... but I don't think I can escape it forever.
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Part of her doesn't believe him. But she remembers the day he arrived here from the train. He had been wearing an imperial uniform with the double eagle crest. He had told her he had been posing as a Lanstov. She had believed that, too. She had just bought it and believed he was Sturmhond.
But he wasn't Sturmhond. He was Sobachka. He was the second prince. The one she had never met.
She narrows her eyes, but she doesn't punch him. Not yet. ]
Why didn't you tell me?
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He'd promised her the truth. He's never been very good at telling the truth, not plainly like this. In the end, he gives her the truth that's easiest to say. ]
Because I knew that I couldn't be Nikolai Lantsov, here. These people don't need a prince.
These people need Sturmhond, scourge of the true sea, breaker of blockades. They need a fighter and a gunsmith, they need someone who can lead and not be distracted by thoughts of a country left behind. And besides that, I don't know any of them. I've always known that a prince has a greater value as a hostage, when he's away from home. At first I thought that any one of these people could be working from the Darkling. Now that I know better, I know that the man himself could appear at any time, and if he does it's vital that he does not know Nikolai Lantsov is here.
[ He looks at her now, bright hazel eyes turning on her. He doesn't say the rest, the part that's harder. The part where she had been his friend and confidante at home, and yet she doesn't know him here. It had been easier to play at Sturmhond, and gain her trust again, than have her see him as a prince set at a distance. But that's too personal. Too difficult, and it's all still true, so he keeps it to himself. ]
Don't think for a minute that I didn't want to. I've missed being honest with you, as strange as that sounds.
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Why was she friends with the Prince of Ravka? She remembered them talking about how they had met once. That he had helped the Darkling find her only to take her himself. ]
Why did you come find me in Novyi Zem? What was the real reason Sturmhond came used the Darkling to find me?
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Because the Darkling poisoned my father and tried to take the throne of Ravka from right under my parents' noses, and where do you think I was, Alina?
[ Rhetorical. He goes straight on. ]
At sea. Exactly where I've been ever since I finished my military service, because I thought that was where I could do the most good. And instead, I was in exactly the wrong place when my family needed me most.
I came to find you because I wanted you to come back with me, Alina. I wanted to bring you back to Os Alta, and I wanted us to unite the First and Second Armies against the Darkling. I wanted you to support my bid for the throne. That's why I took you from him, that's why I saved you from him. So that you could help me save our country from the dark.
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She also remembered him telling her they were friends. He may have used her, but something about their time together had brought them closer to each other.
She sighs and relaxes slightly. ]
one more question, then. Have you been acting like a different person this time? Or acting like yourself with just a different name?
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Inevitably, it's the one that gives him the most trouble. The one he finds it hardest to answer, perhaps because he's not really sure of the truth. As always, he has tried to act as he thinks he must. Different characteristics have been emphasized at different times. To some people he has been the soldier. To others, the thief. To others, the taker of risks, the gunsmith, the inventor, the list goes on.
Instead of answering properly, he smiles at her. ]
You told me that it was creepy, once. How easy it was for me to wear a different face, with different people.
It's not an either or, Alina. I am Nikolai Lantsov. I am also Sturmhond. Both are true, both are me. I've been how I always am with you. I don't know if that's enough. [ A pause. ] I've never truly known if that's enough.
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It's enough. Just... no more lying. I won't ask anything about my future so you won't have to lie, though.
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[ He has to make that clear. He wasn't pretending to be someone else entirely. He doesn't want her to think that. ]
That was never a lie. It's an identity I earned, at sea, when I couldn't present myself as Nikolai.
As far as anyone else here is concerned, Sturmhond is who I remain. That isn't going to change, with anyone except for you.
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[ Her stance is more relaxed now. She's feels a little... awkward now. He's not just a captain. He's the prince. ]
Don't expect me to start calling you 'your highness' in private, either. This doesn't change that.
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Nikolai. Please.
Perhaps I should add that to the list of reasons I wasn't telling you. At least when I'm Sturmhond you don't stand on ceremony.
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I'm your ally. I've told you that so many times.
I would like to be your friend again, Alina.
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You know, the last time you found out who I was, you hit me. Quite hard, actually. It was most uncalled for.
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I was close to punching you this time.
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[ Just because you know who he is now won't make him less of an ass. ]
I had a different face, at home. That may have influenced things.
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I guess that explains why no one recognized the prince playing captain.
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[ He shrugs, and then stops, frowning at her. ]
Except that I wasn't playing. I hadn't lived as a prince for seven years. It was a precaution, that's all.
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With a very well crafted and particularly ruthless reputation. And I'm not a pirate.
[ Suddenly he touches her cheek, very briefly, and then he smiles. ]
Though I'll never be done reminding you.
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Thank you for telling me, Nikolai. I mean it.
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He's not sure it was the best decision, but it's made now. No more lies.
Well, none of any great import, anyway. ]
It's all right. Truth be known, I missed hearing you call me by my real name. It doesn't quite sound the same when you're telling me off as Sturmhond.
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Do you know how hard it is not to ask you every question right now? I'm doing really well at not asking all of them.
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[ He looks up at her. ]
You have no trouble believing it, then, that you come back with me to Os Alta? Sometimes, here, you’ve said things that make me think it’s the very opposite of what you want at this point in time.
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