Inevitably, it's the one that gives him the most trouble. The one he finds it hardest to answer, perhaps because he's not really sure of the truth. As always, he has tried to act as he thinks he must. Different characteristics have been emphasized at different times. To some people he has been the soldier. To others, the thief. To others, the taker of risks, the gunsmith, the inventor, the list goes on.
Instead of answering properly, he smiles at her. ]
You told me that it was creepy, once. How easy it was for me to wear a different face, with different people.
It's not an either or, Alina. I am Nikolai Lantsov. I am also Sturmhond. Both are true, both are me. I've been how I always am with you. I don't know if that's enough. [ A pause. ] I've never truly known if that's enough.
You have no trouble believing it, then, that you come back with me to Os Alta? Sometimes, here, you’ve said things that make me think it’s the very opposite of what you want at this point in time.
It is the opposite of what I want. [ She answers him. ] But is the opposite of what I'll do? I know I'll resist it as long and as much as I can... but I don't think I can escape it forever.
Do you remember what I told you before? If you had wanted it, I would have taken you far away from all of it. Wherever you wanted to go. That's a promise I would always have kept.
[ Right until the end, when the option was taken from him. He's careful to keep that off his face. That, at least, she does not need to know. ]
[ He can only give her his opinion on that. Thankfully, he's never actually short on those. ]
I think because there was something that meant more to you than leaving. You came back to help your country, to do some good. And to be the Sun Summoner again. I think you were tired of hiding that, personally. The truth is, there's no reason why you should.
You're a better leader than even I gave you credit for.
[ She sits quietly on that for awhile. She did miss using her powers. She had felt that weakness without using them. It had been like before she discovered her powers. Except she was aware and actively suppressing them...
As for Ravka... she still has nightmares about the damage she's done.
Did she really come back to lead? ]
Thanks, Nikolai. [ She tells him, looking over at him again. ]
[ He smiles at that. She doesn't imagine that he's any better about compliments than he used to be, does she? ]
Oh, undoubtedly. Although you did refuse to marry me. I thought it was a good offer, but you know how stubborn you are. Absolutely impossible at times.
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Inevitably, it's the one that gives him the most trouble. The one he finds it hardest to answer, perhaps because he's not really sure of the truth. As always, he has tried to act as he thinks he must. Different characteristics have been emphasized at different times. To some people he has been the soldier. To others, the thief. To others, the taker of risks, the gunsmith, the inventor, the list goes on.
Instead of answering properly, he smiles at her. ]
You told me that it was creepy, once. How easy it was for me to wear a different face, with different people.
It's not an either or, Alina. I am Nikolai Lantsov. I am also Sturmhond. Both are true, both are me. I've been how I always am with you. I don't know if that's enough. [ A pause. ] I've never truly known if that's enough.
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It's enough. Just... no more lying. I won't ask anything about my future so you won't have to lie, though.
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[ He has to make that clear. He wasn't pretending to be someone else entirely. He doesn't want her to think that. ]
That was never a lie. It's an identity I earned, at sea, when I couldn't present myself as Nikolai.
As far as anyone else here is concerned, Sturmhond is who I remain. That isn't going to change, with anyone except for you.
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[ Her stance is more relaxed now. She's feels a little... awkward now. He's not just a captain. He's the prince. ]
Don't expect me to start calling you 'your highness' in private, either. This doesn't change that.
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Nikolai. Please.
Perhaps I should add that to the list of reasons I wasn't telling you. At least when I'm Sturmhond you don't stand on ceremony.
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I'm your ally. I've told you that so many times.
I would like to be your friend again, Alina.
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You know, the last time you found out who I was, you hit me. Quite hard, actually. It was most uncalled for.
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I was close to punching you this time.
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[ Just because you know who he is now won't make him less of an ass. ]
I had a different face, at home. That may have influenced things.
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I guess that explains why no one recognized the prince playing captain.
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[ He shrugs, and then stops, frowning at her. ]
Except that I wasn't playing. I hadn't lived as a prince for seven years. It was a precaution, that's all.
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With a very well crafted and particularly ruthless reputation. And I'm not a pirate.
[ Suddenly he touches her cheek, very briefly, and then he smiles. ]
Though I'll never be done reminding you.
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Thank you for telling me, Nikolai. I mean it.
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He's not sure it was the best decision, but it's made now. No more lies.
Well, none of any great import, anyway. ]
It's all right. Truth be known, I missed hearing you call me by my real name. It doesn't quite sound the same when you're telling me off as Sturmhond.
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Do you know how hard it is not to ask you every question right now? I'm doing really well at not asking all of them.
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[ He looks up at her. ]
You have no trouble believing it, then, that you come back with me to Os Alta? Sometimes, here, you’ve said things that make me think it’s the very opposite of what you want at this point in time.
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[ He says that gently. ]
Do you remember what I told you before? If you had wanted it, I would have taken you far away from all of it. Wherever you wanted to go. That's a promise I would always have kept.
[ Right until the end, when the option was taken from him. He's careful to keep that off his face. That, at least, she does not need to know. ]
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I think because there was something that meant more to you than leaving. You came back to help your country, to do some good. And to be the Sun Summoner again. I think you were tired of hiding that, personally. The truth is, there's no reason why you should.
You're a better leader than even I gave you credit for.
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As for Ravka... she still has nightmares about the damage she's done.
Did she really come back to lead? ]
Thanks, Nikolai. [ She tells him, looking over at him again. ]
Maybe you inspire me. [ She shrugs. ]
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Oh, undoubtedly. Although you did refuse to marry me. I thought it was a good offer, but you know how stubborn you are. Absolutely impossible at times.
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