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[sankta]

 

STARKOV.ALINA@CDC.ORG
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[mousquetaire]

FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org

Can I come and see you?

[sankta]

FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org

Yeah. I'm in my rover. Or I can come to you.

[mousquetaire]

FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org

It's all right I'm already coming.

Thanks.

[ He's not lying. A couple of minutes later, he'll be knocking on her door. Between her and Jack, he's barely out of this rover these days. ]

[sankta]

[ She's at the door not long after the knock. Koroleva comes out with her, going to d'artagnan instantly to nudge at his hand. ]

She misses you. [ alina smiles gently, but there's an edge of concern. ]

What did you want to talk about?

[mousquetaire]

[ D'Artagnan's still got the remnants of glitter over his skin. He's showered already, and scrubbed as much of it away as he can, but the stubborn bits are still there. Despite that, he reaches to pet Koroleva as soon as she comes over to him.

He's missed her too. ]

She was good company.

[ It draws a slight smile from him, but his expression is troubled besides that, and the smile doesn't last long. ]

I just needed to talk to someone. I didn't know who else to go to.

[ His shoulders move awkwardly. ]

Can I come in?

[sankta]

[ She nods her head and calls Koroleva off him to let him through as she heads inside. ]

Come in. Everyone's out right now. They usually are.

[ She hesitates. ]

Why do you sparkle?

[mousquetaire]

[ He comes in, going to sit on Jack's bunk since he's not around to throw him off it. He frowns at her question, and then shrugs. ]

My bomb went off. Knocked me out. Woke up sparkling.

[ Then he tilts his head at her, putting two and two together. ]

You didn't know about the bombs.

[sankta]

I heard some of the blasts but I didn't know what came of all that.

Saints are you all right?

[ She sits on her own bunk now. He looks all right from what she can see, but she might mow be seeing everything too.

Koroleva comes over to lay at d'artagnan's feet, though. She loved alina, but while d'artagnan is here she wants to see him too. ]

[mousquetaire]

[ He reaches down to pet at Koroleva's head and neck. Now that he knows her, he's quite fond of the bahari. Especially this one. ]

I'm fine.

[ He rubs the back of his neck. ]

I fell on it. I thought it was real, and it would kill Kyoya, so I fell on it. [ He looks up at her. ] It wasn't real. It just knocked me out for a full day and covered me in glitter.

Aramis was the same. [ A pause, then. His frown deepens. ] And Athos.

[sankta]

So you all tried to kill yourselves.

[ She frowns at that. That the bombs glitter is pure luck. If they had been real she wouldn't be taking to d'artagnan right now. ]

[mousquetaire]

[ He blinks. That's not the point, though in reality, it's actually true. ]

I tried to save Kyoya. Apparently I did the right thing, because I passed. So did Aramis.

I'm not sure Athos was trying to save anyone. He failed. He wouldn't tell me why. He won't tell me anything.

[sankta]

....

I guess I can't be too mad at you. I would do the same. Doesn't mean I like the idea of it, though.

[ She pulls her legs up onto the bed, folding them under her as she situates herself. She would have sacrificed her own life. But the idea of losing d'artagnan makes her feel a little empty inside. ]

[mousquetaire]

[ Kyoya hadn't been happy with him either. He looks at her for a moment, considering her, and looks down. ]

It was instinct, Alina. I don't regret it. I'd do the same thing again.

That's not why I came. I'm sorry - I didn't think it would upset you.

[ He hadn't actually thought at all, about any of this. His thoughts are in a jumble. ]

[sankta]

Sorry.

It just surprised me. [ She swallows and looks away, scooting back on the bunk until her back connects with the rover wall. ]

What did you want to talk about?

[mousquetaire]

[ He hesitates, now. He slides off his bunk and moves over to hers, before sliding onto it beside her. He lifts her hand. ]

I'm the one who's sorry. Forgive me.

[ He brings her hand to his lips, kissing it lightly, and then looking at her. ]

You're a good woman, Alina. I wanted advice, not to hurt you.

[sankta]

[ She's surprised to see him move to her bed suddenly. And then he kisses her hand so gently n while apologizing...

she can't help herself. She leans her head on his shoulder and moves a little closer to him. ]

I think of you like a friend.....

I wouldn't want my friends to die. I want to save you guys. Not lose you.

[mousquetaire]

[ He puts his arm around her.

He feels bad now. He shouldn't have come here, shouldn't have forced this on her. He shakes his head. ]

Alina, you are my friend. If you weren't, I wouldn't be here.

[ He rubs her shoulder, holding her against him. ]

I'm all right. I promise. Look at me. It's only glitter.

[sankta]

[ She curls in against him as he wraps an arm around her, settling against his side. ]

this time.

[ She shakes her head, though. ]

I'm okay.

What did you come over for, d'artagnan?

[mousquetaire]

[ He looks down at her, and can't really say anything to that. He's already admitted he'd make the same choice again. He rubs her arm again, instead, and doesn't deny it.

At the question, his eyes flick to the side. Her concern has softened his mood considerably, but he still has the same problem he came here with. ]

Because of Athos. Something's wrong, Alina. He won't tell me what it is, but I know it. He won't talk to me. Not about this, and there's something else. Something that he and Aramis know and they won't tell me that either.

I would trust them with my life. But they don't trust me with these secrets. I don't know what to do, who to ask. If I can't go to them, I don't know who to speak to.

[ A pause, and he tilts his head. ]

So I came to you.

[sankta]

[ She doesn't have a right to be so upset about it, in honesty. He was just doing his job. And he was being a good person. She would have done the same.

She just wished she could save him.

She stays close to him, listening to his words. ]

Maybe they're not telling you things because they're trying to protect you. Sometimes people aren't keeping secrets because they don't care, they're keeping them because they care too much...

I have someone who does that to me. He keeps things from me... I keep things from him too.

[mousquetaire]

[ That's very likely the reason. In fact, it's the thing d'Artagnan suspects.

But it makes him feel no better. ]

We're Musketeers, Alina. I fight alongside them, this isn't the first time we've been in danger.

Something's changed, and I don't know what. [ He hesitates, and then glances at her. ] I don't know what I've done.

[sankta]

[ She looks up at him at that last part. ]

Done?

[ She frowns now. He doesn't just think they're keeping secrets. He thinks he did something wrong. That they're hiding things because of him. ]

I don't really know your relationship with your friends that much. I know you're all pretty close...

But I can't imagine anything you'd do to make anyone not trust you. Look how much I trust you, and we've only just met. I left something very important to me with you.

[ She shakes her head and settles in against him more. ]

If there's anything wrong, it's with them. Not you, d'Artagnan.

[mousquetaire]

[ She's being kind. He gives her shoulders a little squeeze, especially when she comes closer to him. He'd only really gotten close to her lately, when they'd talked about their roles here and he'd looked after Koroleva. She's right, they've not known each other long.

But the thing is, that's not unusual for him. He looks at her with a tight little smile. ]

I first met Athos when I thought he'd killed my father. I tried to kill him, but ended up saving his life when he was accused in the wrong. That's how I met all of them. We've been friends ever since. It doesn't always matter how long you know someone. It's a matter of loyalty, and trust.

I know you trust me. If I didn't trust you back I wouldn't be here, believe me. I'm just worried. If they're keeping things from me, they must be in trouble. I don't want protection from that, I want to help them. You'd want to help your friend, wouldn't you? The one who keeps secrets.

[sankta]

[ She nods her head without even thinking. ]

Yes. I try to. I always do. [ Just like he tried to do the same for her. Even in Sector R. ]

Don't let their secrets stop you from doing that. Just.... stay close to them and find out what you can. Do what you can from there.

Just don't yourself. You're a good person, d'Artagnan. Better than the rest of us. Sometimes it makes us want to protect you instead of being saved by you like you always try to.

[mousquetaire]

[ He looks away. He doesn't know how to protect his friends if they won't tell him why they're in trouble. Is this what Alina feels all the time? ]

I'll try. I don't want them to get hurt. I just wish they trusted me enough to let me help.

[ Falling quiet, he thinks about what she said. How good she's been to him, and how willing to help him. ]

You're one of the kindest women I've ever met, do you know that? I'm not as good as you think. I'm glad you're my friend, Alina.